Just putting this out there, I have learned that the totality of the relationship long outweighs the “need” to be right. Trust me, I wasn’t always this way.
In full transparency, I used to overexplain and insist that the other party “heard” my side of the story. I unashamedly charged ahead with my eyes and thoughts only fixated on the absurdity of the point…”If ONLY I could get them to see my side of the story, they will understand (and yield)”. Yeah, the yield of the other person was the goal of the intended statements, and frankly, I have learned that it made it difficult for people to get along with me. It also made it so that I was truly as likeable as I thought I was. It also caused a significant degree of discomfort and distress in the relationship.
Don’t get it twisted: I am NOT at all proud of this old behavior!
When I met my mum, Gail, I was able to recognize the importance of considering the value of the overall friendship over the weight of the moment.
Gail somehow slid into my life in the most consistent annoying way possible. Yes, you heard me correctly. She showed up with her blue eyes twinkling, lipstick freshly reapplied, and a tenacity I had yet to truly meet in anyone else and she did it CONSISTENTLY. In fact, up until that point, I was so used to people walking away that I didn’t expect her to stay. I thought to myself “Oh she’ll only be here for a little while”…I was WRONG.
She stuck around despite my need to grow up and mature. She loved me unconditionally. She lovingly held me accountable and applied love in every single one of her words in such a way that it was a healing ointment to my wounds. This numbed the pain of old hurts just enough that I was able to dig in and explore and expel all the unnecessary pain that I had been carrying around: essentially that was infecting all of my other friendships. With patience, love, and grace, Gail taught me how to consider the value of the overall friendship over the weight of the moment.
Leave a comment