Why is it that words can hold such little or so much power? Depending on the context in which it’s said and received, the words take on a different connotation. I happen to personally like words now that they’ve seemed to become less of a prison and more of a tool for expression. Today’s post is about what happens when you don’t have the words to go with the circumstance? Do you just negate it? Stuff it down and ignore it? See, that’s the problem- our words often are attached to a feeling which tends to give them their momentum.
Think of any child you know under the age of ten. Specifically think about how they speak and how they express their emotions. If you observe closely you’ll notice that children externalize or internalize their emotions.
Internalizing your emotions means that you feel something and you essentially turn it inwards. Adults do it too! For instance, you spill your coffee and rather than openly expressing your disappointment and frustration, you tuck the feelings inside. Both children and adults will can shut down or internalize their feelings.
Unfortunately, there’s only so much we can internalize before our feelings eventually become a combustion of a pile of feelings!
Externalization of our feelings is when something happens and we react rather than respond. It looks like this: your child feels anxious and as a result they become more easily agitated.
Whether your go to emotional response is internalization or externalized, it’s IMPORTANT to assign the right words to your feeling. That’s right, taking a moment to identify & name the feeling will allow anyone the opportunity to pause and choose how they want to respond. Consider which words you are using frequently to describe how you’re feeling. My guess is that you’re used to a certain set of words. Perhaps it’s time to explore more words to describe the feeling? To do this, my recommendation is that you start by looking at your behavior to learn more! Your words have power. Choose wisely!
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