When I think about where my energy comes from, I find that I am first giving consideration to where I’ve been. No, I’m not trying to be profound, but in all honesty, ANYTIME, I’m around children- I feel energized. I believe it’s because I love to play. Maybe it’s because I am constantly learning from them. I love watching the way they discover the world around them from the simplest thing to the incredibly complex questions they ask without even trying.
My energy also comes from those I spend time with who hold enough space for me to be my authentic self. For those who don’t communicate to me that I’m “too much” in a world that constantly tells me I am “too much” and to “be less”. That’s right, just as I am- and for me, I’ve found that this has been a process. For example, I used to really believe that I was an extrovert. Truth is, that I’m not actually an extrovert. Being around people takes my energy- so I find that I have to retreat and recharge. I literally lived for years in a state of internal conflict because I thought something was wrong with me and the way I related to others. In fact, I had to UNLEARN what others told me and listen to more of what I was telling me.
Another place that I gain my energy from is self-care. It’s no wonder that taking time to pour into myself would give me energy, but if you knew my story – then you would understand a little bit more about why that has been such a skill for me to learn. I’m only just now learning how to really cook, soothe, nurture, and pour into myself. Keep sticking around and I’ll share how God is showing me through the people around me what love is and what love is not. I’ve been so confused about this my whole life thinking that self-care was a selfish act- almost like it’s a luxury. I’m learning more and more that I can ONLY truly love others when I first learn how to love myself. Ha! Go figure!
Even as I sat writing that just now, I felt silly, but I’m truly enjoying the freedom of walking authentically so I’m unshamedly sharing my own truth. I hope in the days to come you are able to find yourself walking with self-love AND authenticity with your very OWN energy!
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